Ace

Agony and angst

So deep inside

Some kind of sorrow

Some kind of blue

Too much

(feelings and needs)

I just can't hide.

All these tears that drop from my eyes

Water that flows without a course

Flows to somewhere?

Where? I don't know. 
Maybe to an empty space right here
That just can't be fulfilled
That can´t be shown.

I miss something I hadn't lived

Old days, old thoughts, any happiness

I feel an awkward kind of grief

Just like I am missing

A part that hurts, a piece of me

Everywhere I go, I don't fit in.

Sometimes I wish for an ace
That changes the game, changes a life
New beginnings, some kind of hope

Like the lucky you may have throwing the dice.

I'm stranger to myself

And sometimes

(so many times)

I lost my sense

Don't recognize my mind

With this whirlwind inside my head

I stare at the mirror

I feel I'm dead.